How to Deal with Tough Neighbors without Offending Them


People, who get to live in a neighborhood of nice humans minding their businesses and never causing any trouble such as playing loud music or ruining stuff, are truly lucky.

One woman shared a very interesting story about how her father dealt with his obnoxious neighbors and people loved it.

On the fence

“I had an experience one day as my neighbors use a massive truck filled with tons of concrete. The truck driver runs over our fence. Nobody wanted to pay for damages.

Since our fence is made of several bushes, trees, and metal. These plants were destroyed and part of the metal completely bent badly.

We replant the destructive metal and bushes several times. My father told me it was the third time that the destruction would happen. I couldn’t believe it when I heard about this. So, this is where the revenge begins.

A Dangerous Line

Not having the strength of putting up with the careless behavior of those people living around him, the woman’s father, who is a police officer, decided to dig up the property line marker and fill the area with rock-filled barrels.

Shortly after, three of the neighbors damaged their vehicles after running onto the barrels.

Over one year, these neighbors hit the barrels so much with their cars to the extent that the barrels are worthless.” However, dad wasn’t about to quit that small piece of land that belonged to him.

“He bought cement, sand, and metal poles. One peaceful afternoon, my father and I cemented that whole part of the land and placed some lovely flowers on top.

Whenever they hit the concrete, they will smell our flowers of victory or defeat.” Needless to say, their cars were further damaged and the fence stayed untouched.

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Wrecked Cars

“As expected, five neighbors wrecked their cars on the new fence and nobody came knocking on their door. Later, the woman who shared the story added an update, saying:

“Some of them are really bad drivers. But they are used to it after a while. There is usually a case of one neighbor, which was a drunk.

I wouldn’t say they were drunk drivers, but they would merely just turn into tough drivers soon. After this clever action to stop these neighbors destroying from the fence, the owner was successful in his strategy.

Story Source: 


There are ways of dealing with tough or stubborn neighbors without directly offending anybody. If we can apply the following tactics, we would leave with our neighbors peacefully.

Discussion schedule

It is important to schedule a discussion if you discover the improper behavior of your neighbors, whether it is a call ahead or pick a time to talk or meet on the side-walk or the property line.

This is where you will let your neighbors know how the problem bothers you and suggest ways to solve it together instead of accusing him or them.


It is risky to prejudge your neighbors. We can take this as a case study based on differing values; a neighbor might see nothing wrong with playing loud music on Weekends while another neighbor might see it as wicked and insensitive.

Most of the time, people may not discover the discomfort their actions cost others until they are called their attention to it or told, says an expert. People, should, in a friendly manner, let a neighbor know how their actions hurt them instead of assuming they hurt you deliberately.

 Friendly relationship

When you are friendly with them at times, you will get the fact instead of the assumption about the problems.

While it is entirely understandable for people, especially in some neighborhoods, to mind their business, being friendly – not necessarily being friends – with neighbors is helpful.

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An expert says that if you won’t change a person or influence the person, it is recommended that you smile and initiate solid eye contact. She or he will feel comfortable and adequate to listen to you.

Best approach

The way you approach issues at times determines how the issues will go to rest. Trying to correct a neighbor who caused us some discomfort could dictate some spontaneity such as going to bang on their door.

The best way to handle the issue is to stop and listen to your neighbor what he or she wants to say after you have said your own. Just treat the issue as a misunderstanding, not as an act of war unless they make you feel it’s one.

The more you respectfully listen, the better chance you have of communicating your full mind. You don’t need to accuse him or her but how the problem bothers you and suggest ways to solve it together.

Record keeping

Evidence is a good reference to reinforce the facts. If you keep a record of persistent issues, you will be able to refer to it after.

Some people might see this as an extreme measure, but it could help to know whether it’s truly a serious problem, especially looking at the frequency of the issue. and it could be enough evidence if you can report it to the authorities.

Land owner’s involvement

The involvement of the landlord or caretaker can solve the issues if all your efforts are to no avail. At times, efforts to discuss reservations with a neighbor may fail.

If this occurs, another option to explore is to involve the owner of the property or the caretaker to see if they could intervene. A mature landlord finds a solution to the issues most of the time.

Threats and hesitation

Threats and hesitation to deal with these people are steps to end the issue.

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Some people may resort to threatening to deal with a neighbor for daring to question or challenge them for certain wrong acts on the premises. Rather than dismiss the threat, people are always advised to report such to the police or get a lawyer to file proper complaints with the authorities.

Don’t hesitate to take steps that can quickly solve the issues, even if it is a threat.


You should be tactical in dealing with the issue if you will find the last solution to the issue.

A professor of psychology has therefore advised that people in such situations could choose to ignore the person and their infractions, pacify the person or confront him or her.

It depends on the kind of issue. By doing this, the neighbor will realize your discomfort with his or her actions and may adjust them.

Have you ever had to deal with tough neighbors yourself?



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